Bodybuilder spends £600 a month on steroids, works out 3 hours a day but thinks he’s skinny
A 17st bodybuilder has revealed how his obsession with getting the ‘perfect bod’ left him addicted to £600-a-month steroids – and he still thinks he’s “skinny”.
Jamie Diggory, 35, signed up to his local gym in 2010 as a healthy hobby to pass the time after a break up.
But eight years on, he is finally seeking help after becoming addicted to working out for three hours every day – and spending up to £36,000 on steroids.
The dad-of-two admits his job, partner and even his sons came second to his obsession after suffering body dysmorphia .
The scaffolder feels so “sick” when he sees his own body he showers in the dark and has to cover all the mirrors in his house as he can’t bear to look at himself.
Despite boasting a toned six-pack, bulging biceps, a chiselled chest, and a body people swoon over, Jamie still think’s he’s “skinny”.
Now he’s speaking out about the dark side of training after finally confronting his addiction after three days in hospital for surgery on an abscess caused by injecting.
He is now getting help and wants to tell other of the dangers of steroids and pay tribute to the unwavering support of partner Claire Goodchild, 41.
Body dysmorphia is a mental disorder that make sufferers think their appearance is flawed, leaving them to develop an irrational hatred of their body.
“I absolutely hate who I am. People say they wish they looked like me but I don’t see it”, said Jamie, who lives with Claire and son Dexter, six.
“I hate the gym. It’s the worst thing that ever happened to me.
“I can’t look at myself in the mirror. One minute I think I’m fat and the next I think I’m skinny.
“I don’t want to be able to see myself. I make Claire cover the mirrors in our bedroom and I shower in the dark.
“I can’t go out for meals because I feel horrible. The thought of eating anything unhealthy or greasy make me feel sick.
“All you see on social media is the good side of the gym. No one ever sees this. It’s such a false world.
“I just want people to see the effects of abusing the gym. It’s all what it seems.”
Remarkably, all this comes after Jamie, from , from Derbyshire, went from suffering with obesity in his teens to anorexia in his early 20s.
Aged 27, of an “average build” and off the back of a divorce to first wife Jamie joined the gym to take his mind off the break-up.
Jamie, who has a nine-year-old son with his ex-wife, said: “I chose the gym as my therapy, to take my mind off things. I just wanted to get a bit bigger to begin with.
“But I wish I chose the pub instead.”
Jamie’s addiction spiralled out of control in 2012, when he started taking steroids, after a work-out pal suggested he start using “gear”.
He said he “weighed it up” and was advised to think “long and hard” before taking the drugs, by pals.
But despite being warned by his gym mates that he’d be “on them for life”, Jamie took the plunge and picked up the needle.
Throughout most of his adult life Jamie has battled with eating disorders and now lives on a strict diet of chicken or fish and rice out of a fear of putting on weight.
Jamie, who weighs 17st 2lbs, goes to the gym every day and spends up to three hours a night lifting weights.
The thought of missing even a single day makes Jamie “feel guilty” to the point where he feels fat.
Jamie said: “I’m completely obsessed and I don’t enjoy it. I hate the gym. If I make any plans I have to make sure I go to the gym first.
“The gym comes before my son and I feel terrible about it. I just can’t accept it when people tell me I look good.
I just feel tiny when I look in the mirror. When I walk past cars I can’t bare to look at the reflection.
“I feel disgusted with myself. I wish I never signed up to the gym.”
Jamie admits to spending an eye-watering amount of cash of steroids over his six-year addiction.
He spends up to £600 a month on drugs that boost performance, encourage muscle growth and boost testosterone.
Shockingly his addiction has resulted in Jamie recently spending three days in hospital after he developed a huge abscess on his bum from injecting.
He required surgery to remove the painful lump, earlier this month.
Jamie was told by doctors not to go to the gym for four to six weeks after his operation, but ignored all medical advise and was back lifting weights just three days later.
But Jamie has finally taken the first steps to getting professional help and has begun a structured steroid-reduction course issued by his doctor.
For the next 60 days he will take 5mg less of medically prescribed testosterone in the hope of weening his way off steroids for good.
“I just want a normal life but I don’t know what normal feels like anymore”, said Jamie.
“I want to get off it but it’s not as easy as just quitting the gym.
“I have cut down because I’ve been scared into it. I know I shouldn’t be going to the gym now but I can’t bare the thought of not going.
“It’s my life. It’s the only thing I’ve done for years. I want to quit because I hate the place. I’m just going to take it day-by-day.”
One of the main reasons why Jamie wants to break free from the gym is to spend more time with his loyal family.
He admits that he could have had “had a second mortgage” with the cash he’s spent on steroids, and has opened up about his stretched family life.
Jamie said: “It has had a massive strain on my family. Me and Claire argued all the time.
“It got the point where I’d go the gym when she came home from work and I’d be there for three hours.
“Then I’d come home, do my meal prep, go to bed and do it all again the next day.
“I’ve been horrible to her. She’d tell me I look good and I’d lash out and think she’s lying to me.
“I don’t deserve her. I’ve put her through so much and she’s just took it. I feel horrible when I take it out on her. We are always fighting. Even my boy tells me I’m not fat.”
However despite Jamie’s raging obsession, Claire has forever “stood by” her partner and has been there to provide constant support.
Jamie is hopeful that now he’s taking action against his addiction, he can finally begin to cut down time in the gym, scrap the needles and give his family “the life they deserve”.