7 Gifts for New Dads

OutsideSubmission-3 columnist

It’s scary becoming a new dad. If it’s your first child, you have no idea what to expect. As you and your wife scramble to get everything checked off of your pre-baby list, here are a few things that might help ease the transition into dad life.

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Being a dad wreaks havoc on your back right from the start. At the hospital, your wife gets the bed, and you get a fold-up cot with an air mattress. One night’s sleep on this thing and you won’t be able to stand up straight for a week. Once the baby is home, it doesn’t get better. Bending over to pick the baby up off the ground, bending over to pick up toys, bending over to put together baby furniture… you get the picture. This might sound crazy, but holding a baby for a long period of time is going to light your back up like you wouldn’t believe.

The only way to prepare for this is to train your back and make it strong enough to withstand the pain that will be brought upon it. I can’t think of a better way than with some SS Yoke Bar good mornings. If we’re talking about specificity, no other movement will have direct transfer to dad life like a good morning. Bending over the crib to lay the baby down ever so gently so you don’t wake him up? No problem! You did it with 315 earlier this week.

Being a new dad comes with lots of new responsibilities. You will be changing diapers, cleaning bottles, and waking up late at night when the baby cries. There is one thing that you will be responsible for more than all the others, though. Carrying stuff. Diaper bags, mommy’s bags, car seats, strollers, pack-n-plays… you name it, you’re carrying it. Mom gets the baby while you carry everything else.

Get some work in with the E-Series Farmer’s Walk Handles and avoid seeing the look of disappointment on your wife’s face when it takes you two trips to the car to bring in the groceries.

You’re going to be spending a lot of time on the ground — and I mean A LOT of time on the ground. This sucks, especially the day after squats. While you’re down there, you might as well do something useful. While baby is working on some tummy time, you can be working the knots out of your quads.

The bonus that comes with this item is that your baby will love to play with it. So even if you don’t feel like working on some recovery, it keeps the baby busy — even if only for a minute.

You are going to be strapped for time like never before. Your training is going to take a hit. You will need to cut down on training time and find ways to become more efficient. Warming up can’t be long and drawn out. It needs to be effective and to the point.

One way you can kickstart this and get your body warmed up fast is with a little Equi-Block. Equi-Block takes a little while to kick in, but when it does, there isn’t another liniment on the market that gives a better skin-melting-off-the-bone feeling, and that’s what we’re all looking for, right? No? Just me?

In the early days of your child being born, you’re not going to be doing a whole lot. Sure, people will want to come and visit, and you might take the baby for a walk in the stroller here and there, but there’s going to be a lot of lying around. Babies sleep a lot. You might as well get comfortable while you’re stuck with a sleeping baby on your chest.

My son was born right in the middle of a heatwave in July, so I grabbed a bunch of elitefts tank tops and rocked them on rotation all summer. If your baby is due in the winter, stock up on some nice comfy sweatpants and sweatshirts.

Babies are gross. You are going to be covered in all kinds of liquids 24/7. Throw the elitefts Lift Towel over your shoulder and be prepared for the worst at all times.

Last but not least, ammonia caps. The day you decided to have a baby, you said good-bye to a normal sleeping pattern for at least 18 years. You will be up all hours of the night. Sometimes, you think you are going crazy from lack of sleep. That’s when you snap open one of these bad boys. If you don’t like caps, you can go with the more appropriately named WAKE UP MOTHERF****R Smelling Salts.

So, there you have it: everything a new dad needs to keep kicking ass through the stress of having a baby. Let’s not forget, however, mom’s job is a lot harder then ours, so get her gifts lined up first if you wish to have a chance of making it through alive.


Daniel Murphy works as a systems analyst for a large financial institution. He has a bachelor’s in information systems management and a master’s in business administration with a focus in critical thinking and decision-making. He currently competes in powerlifting with best lifts of a 622-pound squat, 413-pound bench, and a 584-pound deadlift raw.

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