Diet cheater wrecks dinner date
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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ate something I shouldn’t have, and ended up with a terribly upset stomach and the runs. We were at a restaurant and my girlfriend was unsympathetic, saying, “You know you shouldn’t eat that, but you did and spoiled our night out.”
Well, it’s true. I thought I could have something I shouldn’t because I’d taken a pill to counteract it, but it didn’t work and we had to leave early. She took me out as a treat, so she felt she had wasted her money and I was a fool.
She drove me home, and I was just as glad to get away from her as she was to get away from me. We’re not young, and this is not the first time I’ve spoiled her good time because of my dietary problems. Should I try and give her the money back? She paid a lot for that dinner at a very fancy place.
— Spoiled the Whole Night, River Heights
Dear Spoiled: Handing her the money back would be awkward, and she’d feel like a grinch taking it. Quickly invite her out to a similar fancy restaurant and promise to watch your diet — no cheat pills — and have a really good time making it up to her. That would be fair and healing for the relationship.
By her reaction, I gather you have a history of cheating on your diet and running to the bathroom. Stop this behaviour now. Your body knows what it’s doing better than you do.
It’s never worth trying something that makes you sick, just to look normal and avoid questions. There’s no excuse for doing that when you’re with a close friend or partner who understands your situation. With strangers it’s OK to just say, “Sorry, I can’t have that.”
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My kids and I love Halloween, but my wife thinks it’s anti-religious and won’t participate. I don’t usually go against my religious wife on things, but this is something I won’t let her ruin for the children.
Three years ago, I suggested she start going to her religious sister’s house on Halloween afternoon. I dress the kids for school and pick them up from school that day. My sister comes over for an early dinner and helps me dress the children in their costumes, and off we go. She plays host at the door and hands out treats.
This year my kids were old enough to ask, “What’s the matter with Mommy? Why does she always go to auntie’s on Halloween?” I didn’t have a good answer and mumbled something stupid.
Luckily, mom’s quite all right with the candy, as she has a sweet tooth and the kids share their loot bags with her when she comes home.
I knew it might be difficult when I married a woman of this religion, but I fell deeply in love with her. Are we doing the children harm by handling things this way? She has agreed not to be snarky about Halloween if she doesn’t have to be part of it. I know it’s not the greatest when parents don’t agree on basic things.
— Feeling Kind of Guilty, The Maples
Dear Feeling: You know the old saying: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Look, Canada is full of married people with different beliefs and religions. It seems you’ve worked out a decent compromise here.
Your wife is co-operative with the arrangement at Halloween, you are doing what you want, and the kids are happy. Don’t ruin it with guilt and a pinched face.
Smile and show your wife you’re happy and grateful she buzzes off for Halloween, instead of spoiling it.
Please send your questions and comments to [email protected] or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.